b/ground

Friday, March 19, 2010

Da worst way to miss someone is to be sitting rite beside her knowing you can't have her..

Standard 6
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes that she had missed the day before. Then, I handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a wink. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I like her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Form 5
The phone rang. On my handfone screen, it was her name. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie (50 First Date), and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. She stunned me for a few minutes. It felt like heaven, I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn’t want to be just friends, I liked her but I was just too shy, and I didn’t know why.

Second year Diploma
The day before the annual dinner she walked to my car. She said; “my date is sick, he's not going to go well. So I didn't have a date, and in first year, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did, after everything was over, I send her home. I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn’t think of me like that, and I knew it. Then she said "I had the best time with you, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. That was the second kissed I had from her since we friends. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn't want to be just her friends, I noticed that I loved her but I was just too shy, and I didn't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched her as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her robe and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and she continued hugging me. I wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn't want to be just friends. I loved her and I meant it! But I was just too shy, and I didn't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I’m sitting beside her future husband. My best friend is getting married now. I watched his husband akad nikah and waited till everyone prayer for her marriage. Alhamdulilah now she drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and she cried with her smile. I got no words to say, only hoped that she will always be happy with the one she loves. Ya Allah, i wanted to tell her, I wanted her to know that I didn't want to be just friends, I loved her but I was just too shy, and I didn't know why.

Hospital
Years passed, I looked down at a girl laying on the bed who used to be my "best friend". She looked so calm, I wished that I could tell to her how I missed her so much. It felt like we just met yesterday. At this moment, her husband gave me her diary that she wished to give me after she died. I read a diary entry she had been writing since in her high school years. This was what I read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` Only Allah knows how I feel..
I thought to my self, and I cried...... till now.. Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat keatas roh orang yang ku sayang..

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